Vamoschile Gold.

Five Dollar

As you know, Black Friday is a crazy time of year. It is a time of great savings and great frustration. Full of Thanksgiving leftovers, shoppers around the country descend upon malls and large retailers to find low prices on a variety of products. When it comes to this big day, there are two basic ways to approach it - ninja style and pirate style. We are going to take a look at a typical Black Friday for both so that you can see which you are!

Break of Dawn

• Ninja - The ninja is up before dawn - dressed, fed, and warming up the car before the sun even starts to think about rising for the day.
• Pirate - The pirate hits the snooze button. There's something about turkey legs that makes you want to sleep. The snoring is another story entirely!

Early Morning

• Ninja - This is where the ninja shines - in and out of stores and hitting all of the sales. Quick, quiet and deadly, the ninja is able to get most of the items on their list - cheap.
• Pirate - The pirate finally awakes and wanders around the house getting ready for the day. Coffee is started and a quick Pop Tart for breakfast. Sales are the last thing on the pirate's mind after the festivities the night before.

Lunch Time

• Ninja -Most of the shopping out of the way - and with a lot of money saved - the ninja stops at Subway for a healthy five dollar sub.
• Pirate - The pirate finally gets out of the house, deciding to get some brunch. After driving around for a few hours trying to decide, a place is finally found and dinner is eaten.

Afternoon Follies

• Ninja - Shopping complete, the ninja treats himself to coffee and perhaps a treat. With a leisurely drive through town, he heads home with the trunk full.
• Pirate - Still a little tired and confused - but less hungry - the pirate begins to think about what to get everyone he knows. At this point, they usually start to worry when they find the sales papers and realize they have missed most of the sales.

Evening of Pillaging

• Ninja - The ninja is at home enjoying television with friends and family - perhaps finally cracking open that '84 Pinot.
• Pirate - Frantic, for at least one or two gifts on the list, the pirate begins to pillage stores, rustling through whatever is left. They usually can find one or two deals, but sometimes they need to battle an old lady to get the last one.

After Hours

• Ninja - All presents and gifts neatly stored in labeled boxes, the ninja sits down for a glass of eggnog and some Christmas carols.
• Pirate - With two large pepperoni pizzas and a case of soda, the pirate arrives at his home with about a third of his list completed.

While you may think one or the other crazy, the important part is that both the ninja and pirate enjoyed their day. There could have been a little less pillaging from the pirate perhaps, but all is well that ends well, right? Before you head out for holiday shopping this Black Friday, remember who you are!

K. Paul Mallasch is the publisher of Double HaHa and Kafka Electronics, both of which are good for a laugh. Go visit them now... or later!

Five Dollar Dress $9.49 Five Dollar Dress

Five Dollar Bill $39.99 Dustin Chambers Five Dollar Bill - Art Print

Twenty-Five Dollar Poker Chip $54.99 Gregory Gorham Twenty-Five Dollar Poker Chip - Framed Art Print

Close-Up of Crumpled Five Dollar Bill $29.99 Close-Up of Crumpled Five Dollar Bill - Photographic Print

The Dollar Crisis $26 In this updated, second edition of the highly acclaimed international best seller, The Dollar Crisis: Causes, Consequences, Cures , Richard Duncan describes the flaws in the international monetary system that have destabilized the global economy and that may soon culminate in a deflation-induced worldwide economic slump. The Dollar Crisis is divided into five parts: Part One describes how the US trade deficits, which now exceed US$1 million a minute, have destabilized the global economy by creating a worldwide credit bubble. Part Two explains why these giant deficits cannot persist and why a US recession and a collapse in the value of the Dollar are unavoidable. Part Three analyzes the extraordinarily harmful impact that the US recession and the collapse of the Dollar will have on the rest of the world. Part Four offers original recommendations that, if implemented, would help mitigate the damage of the coming worldwide downturn and put in place the foundations for balanced and sustainable economic growth in the decades ahead. Part Five , which has been newly added to the second edition, describes the extraordinary evolution of this crisis since the first edition was completed in September 2002. It also considers how the Dollar Crisis is likely to unfold over the years immediately ahead, the likely policy response to the crisis, and why that response cannot succeed. The Dollar Standard is inherently flawed and increasingly unstable. Its collapse will be the most important economic event of the 21st Century.

The Five-Dollar Smile (Paperback) $23.08 This touching and funny collection of stories showcases Tharoor`s daunting literary acumen, as well as the keen sensitivity that informs his ability to write profoundly and entertainingly on themes ranging from family conflict to death. In the title story?written in a lonely hotel room in Geneva soon after the author began his work with the United Nations?a young Indian orphan is on his way to visit America for the first time, and his anguish and longing in the airplane seem hardly different from those of any American child. Tharoor`s admiration for P. G. Wodehouse makes ?How Bobby Chatterjee Turned to Drink? a delightful homage, while ?The Temple Thief,? ?The Simple Man,? and ?The Political Murder? bring to mind O. Henry and Maupassant. His three college stories, ?Friends,? ?The Pyre,? and ?The Professor`s Daughter,? are full of youthful high jinks, na ve infatuations, and ingenious wordplay. ?The Solitude of the Short-Story Writer? is a smart, self-aware, Woody Allen-esque exploration of a writer`s conflicted relationship with his psychiatrist.

The Five Dollar Christmas Tree $16.57 No Synopsis Available

Smiling Man Displaying His One and Five Dollar Bills $24.99 George Marks Smiling Man Displaying His One and Five Dollar Bills - Photographic Print

The Corb Lund Band - Five Dollar Bill * $30.2 Track Listing: Five Dollar Bill Daughter Don`t You Marry No Guitar Picker Shine Up My Boots, (Gonna) Buckin` Horse Rider She Won`t Come To Me Expectation And The Blues Short Native Grasses (Prairies Of Alberta) No Rdads Here Apocalyptic Modified Blues Heavy And Leaving Intro/Jack Of Diamonds Time To Switch To Whiskey Roughest Neck Around

Bet Your Bottom Dollar (Bottom Dollar Girls) $3.99 Welcome to the Bottom Dollar Emporium, where everything from coconut mallow cookies to Clabber Girl Baking Powder costs only a dollar, and coffee and gossip are free. For Elizabeth, Mavis, and Attalee, logging nine to five at the Bottom Dollar is not just work time, it's family time. So when news gets out that the Super Saver Dollar Store chain plans to set up shop and run the Bottom Dollar out of town, things go catawampus. Manager Elizabeth, who has a good head for business even though she flunked pin-curling in beauty school, teams up with a crew of dedicated do-gooders bent on saving the Bottom Dollar from the fate of spare change. But when Elizabeth's unlikely new love interest - who also happens to be Cayboo Creek's wealthiest bachelor - pitches woo, out come some startling revelations about her past that turn life more than a little interesting for all her friends and neighbors.

Dollar $6 Dollar - Steve Hofstetter

Bet Your Bottom Dollar $9.99 Welcome to the Bottom Dollar Emporium, where everything from coconut mallow cookies to Clabber Girl Baking Powder costs only a dollar, and coffee and gossip are free. For Elizabeth, Mavis, and Attalee, logging nine to five at the Bottom Dollar is not just work time, it's family time. So when news gets out that the Super Saver Dollar Store chain plans to set up shop and run the Bottom Dollar out of town, things go catawampus. Manager Elizabeth, who has a good head for business even though she flunked pin-curling in beauty school, teams up with a crew of dedicated do-gooders bent on saving the Bottom Dollar from the fate of spare change. But when Elizabeth's unlikely new love interest -- who also happens to be Cayboo Creek's wealthiest bachelor -- pitches woo, out come some startling revelations about her past that turn life more than a little interesting for all her friends and neighbors.

Five Dollar Footlong Humor Dark T-Shirt by CafePress $26 Everyone loves a good joke at corporate America's expense dollar, five, footlong, gigolo, innuendo, joke, male, member, men, penis, prostitution, subway Humor Dark T-Shirt Tee, TShirt, Shirt Don't waste time deciding on which shirt to put on each morning. This dark shirt t-shirt will never go out of style and hides stains better too. This high-quality t-shirt is pre-shrunk and 100% cotton, which makes it both comfortable and durable.

Dollar Thirty Five Empire Coin Magic Trick Revealed - Locking $22.04 Effect: Hey mister, got a buck thirty-five? This incredible trick from Empire Coin Magic takes advantage of a half-dollar that actually well, perhaps we had better not give that away. We wouldn't want any observers or non-magicians to accidentally stumble across the magic of this trick. All we'll say is that the trick's neat features allow you to place $1.35 in change (2 half dollars, a quarter and a dime) underneath a handkerchief, remove only ONE of the half-dollars, and walla! Sweep aside the handkerchief to reveal only one half dollar left over, which can be handed out and examined. Instructions included. Related Magic Tricks And Sets: Magic Tricks Closeup Magic Tricks Coin Magic Tricks Quarter Tricks

Dollar Bill Origami (Hardcover) $20.47 If you`ve got a dollar, you`ve got an origami creation! Written for intermediate-to-advanced origami practitioners by well-known expert Duy Nguyen, this collection features 19 fun projects. Five sheets of currency-sized paper are included for practice, but the techniques will work with any type of paper money. Start with simple designs such as the Gun & Holster and the Pushpin, and then move onto greater creative challenges like the Chinese Dragon, Elephant, and Boa Constrictor. 

Tiny Holes: The Eighty-five Million Dollar Deal $6.62 No Synopsis Available

Million-Dollar Bride $4.99 The Magic Wedding Dress Here comes the bride… Eliza Richards knew she had no business trying on that million-dollar wedding gown. It didn't look like it should cost a million bucks, so what was all the fuss about? But when she put it on, she knew. It shimmered, it sparkled—it made her see an image of a groom… her groom. There goes the groom… Five minutes before his own wedding, MacKenzie Courtland found himself literally attached—tuxedo button enmeshed in lace—to Eliza, the most beautiful bride he could ever imagine. Problem was, she wasn't his bride! How was he possibly going to explain two brides at the altar?

The Million Dollar Deception $10.99 Almost five years after his critically acclaimed novel The Million Dollar Divorce, Essence bestselling author RM Johnson returns with the sequel that fans have been waiting for...and in The Million Dollar Deception, Nate Kenny, Lewis Waters, and Monica Kenny still have not buried the hatchet. When readers last closed the book on Nate Kenny, his scheming had backfired, and he not only lost a great fortune in a messy divorce but his wife ended up with the very man he paid off to seduce her into infidelity. Now, four years later, it's time for payback. Meanwhile, Monica Kenny has a decision to make -- stay with and marry Lewis Waters, the younger man she knows may not be right for her? Or leave him, venture out on her own, and face the possibility of falling for another man who may leave her as her ex-husband did, because she cannot bear children? Lewis Waters recognizes that he's in a much better position than he ever was, now that he's with Monica. She takes care of him and his daughter and provides them with financial stability; but Lewis fears she is also starting to notice the pair's fundamental differences. In an attempt to repair the relationship, Lewis vows that he'll never return to his former thuggish life -- he intensifies life in the bedroom and promises to finish school and start a successful real estate business. But Nate is prepared to use all his cunning, expertise, and money to destroy Lewis, and take Monica back. Unbeknownst to all three, there will be life and death repercussions. A stirring saga of romance, loyalty, and friendship, The Million Dollar Deception is an explosive escapade of betrayal, sex, and suspense that will leave you breathless for the next, and final, installment.